I'm trying to get my email address book listed on the side bar when I reply/forward/write emails.

To open the Contacts Sidebar in a Write window either

• press F9, or
• use the menu bar: View - check Contacts Sidebar.

Also need the send icon to show when I'm in the out going email program.

The Send button is in the Write window at the top left of the Composition Toolbar.

Pressing the f9 key did nothing, and in the view, there is no Contacts Sidebar to check. My out going mail program shows no composition bar.

Then you probably tried this in the main Thunderbird window, and not in a Write window, as suggested. The Write window is where you compose a new message.

I did try f9 in the write/forward/reply window. I have no View to open in these windows.

Display the Thunderbird menus and toolbar: https://support.mozilla.org/en-US/kb/display-thunderbird-menus-and-toolbar#thunderbird:win11:tb146